Trigger
Something happens that carries emotional meaning: distance, criticism, rejection, betrayal, feeling ignored, controlled, unheard, or unsafe.
Free Relationship Assessment
Reactive to Relationship Identity Model™
RRIM™ Relationship Assessment
Your Reactions Are Not Random.
We all have a way of reacting when the relationship does not give us what we hoped for, expected, or needed. Under enough emotional pressure, those reactions can become fast and automatic.
A trigger can activate a protective identity, a learned way of showing up that may have formed in childhood, a previous relationship, or an earlier emotional wound. RRIM™ identifies that reactive pattern, what it may be protecting, and how it shows up in the relationship you are in now.
Many people discover RRIM™ while considering couples counseling and want to understand the pattern first, before deciding what kind of support the relationship needs.
How a Pattern Forms
What happens before the same fight happens again.
Reactive Response
The reaction can happen before you have time to think: pursue, withdraw, shut down, criticize, control, defend, overgive, seek reassurance, or create distance.
Protective Identity
Under pressure, a learned identity comes forward to protect something important. That identity may have roots in childhood, a previous relationship, or earlier emotional pain.
Relationship Pattern
Your identity interacts with your partner's pattern. One response triggers another, and the two of you can begin recreating the same conflict, distance, resentment, or shutdown over and over.
The argument may be new. The pattern underneath it may be much older.
Armando Perez
Founder of Self Help LA
The Framework Behind RRIM™
Normally Part of the Private Work. Now Available Free.
Created by Armando Perez, Founder of Self Help LA, RRIM™ is part of the M.I.N.D. Method™ framework used to help identify the patterns, meanings, protective responses, and relationship dynamics operating beneath the surface conflict.
This pattern recognition work has normally been part of the private client experience, helping couples facing recurring conflict or a communication breakdown they cannot explain. For the first time, Self Help LA is making the assessment available outside its private work, completely free.
The Assessment Experience
A Few Minutes Can Reveal a Lot.
Start with your own pattern. Then choose whether you want to explore what may be happening between you. For couples weighing couples therapy, this is a low pressure way to see the pattern first.
01
You
Begin with your reactions
Answer 18 short questions about how you tend to react when tension rises inside your relationship.
02
Your Individual RRIM™ Report
See the identity underneath
Receive your Primary RRIM Identity, a secondary pattern when present, what happens under pressure, what may be underneath the pattern, and how those reactions may affect your relationship.
03
Go Deeper Into the Relationship
Add what you observe
If you want to go deeper, answer additional questions about how your partner typically responds. RRIM™ can then identify the combined relationship pattern the two identities may be creating together.
Because your partner is not personally taking that portion of the assessment, their RRIM identity is an estimate based on your observations.
What You Receive
Not Just a Score. A Map of What May Be Happening Between You.
1. You
- Your Primary RRIM Identity
- A secondary pattern when present
- What happens under pressure
- What may be underneath it
- How your reactions affect the relationship
2. Partner
- An estimated RRIM identity based on your observations
- How your partner appears to respond under pressure
- The protective strategy their behavior may reflect
3. The Relationship
- The primary relationship pattern you may be creating together
- How the two responses trigger and reinforce each other
- Where pursuit, shutdown, resentment, escalation, distance, or other cycles may be coming from
- A full written couple report describing the pattern and how it operates
FAQ
RRIM™ Relationship Assessment Questions
Don't see your question? Reach out, we typically respond within one business day.
RRIM stands for Reactive to Relationship Identity Model. It is a relationship pattern recognition assessment that identifies how a trigger activates a reactive response and a protective identity, and how those reactions combine into a repeating relationship pattern.
Recognition Comes First
Are You Ready to See What's Actually Driving the Relationship?
Discover the underlying needs, fears, expectations, and protective identities influencing how you pursue, withdraw, fight, shut down, overgive, control, or reach for connection.
And when you add your partner's pattern, see why the two of you can love each other deeply and still keep triggering the same cycle.
Answer honestly. There are no right or wrong answers. Choose the response that reflects what you actually tend to do, not what you believe you should do.
FREE · 18 short questions to begin · Personalized RRIM™ report
Prefer direct, private help? Book a private session. You can also explore Self Help LA services or the Relationship Community.
RRIM™ is free and online, open to anyone. Self Help LA serves couples at offices in Downey and Santa Ana, serving Whittier, Pico Rivera, and surrounding Los Angeles and Orange County communities, with private sessions available online across California.