Self HelpLA

About Self Help LA

We Help Couples See the Pattern, Before It Takes Over the Relationship.

Recognition comes before meaningful change.

Since 2009

Established Experience

5

Google Rating

30,000+

Lives Transformed

93%

Notice Change After Session One

Why We Exist

Most Couples Do Not Need More Blame.They Need to Understand What Keeps Repeating.

Self Help LA was founded in 2009 around helping people create emotional and behavioral change. Over time, one truth became impossible to ignore: people can love each other and still repeat patterns that damage the relationship.

The argument may be about money, trust, family, intimacy, or who said what. Underneath it, something deeper is often happening. One person pursues while the other withdraws. One protests while the other defends. Both react to what the moment means, not only to what was said.

The work evolved toward identifying what sits beneath the argument, shutdown, resentment, betrayal response, or disconnection. Today, Self Help LA is couples first and pattern first.

Seventeen years later, nearly two decades of serving people, that focus has only sharpened. Many couples first find Self Help LA while considering couples counseling, marriage counseling, or couples therapy. This page explains the people and the method behind that work; the services page explains how to begin.

When the pattern becomes visible, the couple can stop treating each other like the problem.

What We Believe

Recognition Always Precedes Transformation

Lasting change starts by seeing the pattern clearly enough to make a different choice when it matters.

Love alone is not enough to create a healthy relationship.

Behavior serves a function, even when the behavior is destructive.

Patterns repeat until they are recognized and interrupted.

Both people have responsibility for what happens next.

Transformation begins the moment we look in the mirror.

The Mirror Principle

The Methodology

A Structured Way to Understand What Is Happening Underneath the Behavior.

The M.I.N.D. Method is the methodology underneath Self Help LA's relationship work. It helps organize what happened, what meaning each person assigned to it, what protective identity became active, and how each response shaped the interaction that followed.

RRIM, the Reactive to Relationship Identity Model, is one structured pattern recognition tool within the broader methodology.

Explore the M.I.N.D. MethodTake the free RRIM relationship assessment
  1. 1

    What Happens

    An event creates pressure

    A comment, silence, distance, disappointment, or moment of uncertainty lands inside the relationship.

  2. 2

    What It Means to You

    The moment becomes personal

    Each person assigns meaning to what happened through expectations, history, and what matters most to them.

  3. 3

    What Gets Activated

    A protective identity steps forward

    A learned response may move quickly to protect connection, control, safety, or self worth.

  4. 4

    How You Respond

    Behavior follows the activation

    You may pursue, withdraw, criticize, defend, shut down, overgive, or create distance under pressure.

  5. 5

    What Repeats

    Two responses become one pattern

    Your response affects your partner, their response affects you, and the relationship begins repeating the same cycle.

Armando Perez, Founder of Self Help LA

Armando Perez

Founder of Self Help LA

“You can love each other and still destroy everything.”

Founder

Meet Armando Perez

Founder of Self Help LA · Creator of the M.I.N.D. Method and RRIM

Armando entered the field of emotional and behavioral change in 2001, bringing more than 25 years of experience to the work. He founded Self Help LA in 2009 around a direct idea: meaningful change becomes possible when people can recognize the patterns shaping how they think, feel, and behave.

He created the M.I.N.D. Method and RRIM to give that work structure. The frameworks help people identify what is driving a reaction, understand the meaning beneath the behavior, and make deliberate choices instead of repeating an automatic response.

As Self Help LA evolved into a couples first organization, that focused on patterns work became the foundation for understanding what happens between two people under pressure. The goal is not to assign blame. It is to make the cycle visible so both people can take responsibility for what happens next.

The People Behind the Work

Who You May Work With

Practitioners work within the shared Self Help LA structure, with the M.I.N.D. Method guiding how patterns are recognized and addressed.

Sessions are available at our Downey and Santa Ana offices, serving Whittier, Pico Rivera, and surrounding LA and Orange County communities, with online sessions across California.

Jason Godoy, Self Help LA practitioner

Practitioner

Jason Godoy

NLP. CTD. SC.

“I had my first couple therapy session with Jason. I feel like I learned so much on our first session already about the cycles that we both fall into over and over and why things aren't working and fall back into the same routine. I really feel that he listens to what we say and pays attention. He doesn't waste time , gives us a full hour like we paid for.”

Chrysti Lavv

Google Review

Jason holds a bachelor's degree in psychology and is trained in Timeline Therapy and Neurolinguistic Programming. He works with individuals and couples to identify the root patterns driving emotional distress and relationship conflict.

His approach is structured and focused on results, helping couples recognize recurring cycles, improve emotional regulation, rebuild trust, restore clarity, and respond more deliberately when pressure rises. Jason also leads the weekly Relationship Community training within the M.I.N.D. Method structure.

The practitioner is not there to choose sides. The work is to help make the pattern visible so both people can take responsibility for what happens next.

Tamara Smith, Self Help LA practitioner

Practitioner

Tamara Smith

MNLP. MTD. MER.

“My husband and I started therapy three months ago with Tamara, and I truly can't express how grateful we are. Working with her has completely changed our relationship for the better. Her guidance, compassion, and the tools she shares have helped us grow individually and together. She reminds you that real change takes effort, but when you put in the work, it truly pays off. I am now continuing therapy one on one with Tamara, and it has been such a healing experience. She makes me feel deeply heard, understood, and safe. I never feel judged, only supported and encouraged. Every session feels meaningful, and I always leave with more clarity and confidence. I 100% recommend therapy with Tamara to anyone looking for real support and positive change.”

Stephanie Jimenez

Google Review

Her Approach

Tamara works within the Self Help LA and M.I.N.D. Method structure. Her work supports individuals and couples through significant life changes, emotional challenges, and the recurring patterns that can keep people feeling stuck.

Drawing from her established training, she helps people understand their responses, release the emotional weight they have been carrying, and create more intentional ways of moving forward. Her approach centers on helping people feel heard while building clarity, confidence, and stronger relationship choices.

“I reached out to Tamara for help with issues that were affecting my marriage. Through her guidance, I've been able to overcome multiple addictions and gain a deeper understanding of myself. My wife and I can't express how thankful we are for everything she's done. I've learned so much, and most importantly, I've been able to strengthen my relationship with my wife and our kids. Thank you so much, Tamara, for making such a positive difference in our lives.”

Arturo

Google Review

FAQ

About Self Help LA

Don't see your question? Reach out, we typically respond within one business day.

Self Help LA was founded by Armando Perez, who also created the M.I.N.D. Method™ (Mapping Identity through Neurological Deconstruction) and the RRIM™ pattern recognition model that structure the organization's relationship work.

Start With Recognition

You Do Not Need to Have the Whole Relationship Figured Out Before You Begin.

You only need a place to start seeing what keeps happening, why it happens, and what can change next. The free assessment identifies the relationship patterns keeping you both stuck.
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